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Encountering rejection in business, at work and even in our personal relationships is certainly normal in life. We all encounter Mr Rejection several times on this journey; the good news is, it happens to everyone. Someone, somewhere is not going to be happy with you, your delivery, your product, your looks, your style, your accent, your voice ... something! and hey, don't let this stop you. It hurts, yes! Yes it is painful, it stings and it makes us question if we are doing the right thing. Nevertheless, we should be determined to not be derailed.
In order to stay on course, you must not let rejection knock you off that path. The fear of rejection is known to be a major reason why folks never even try to follow their dreams. "What will people think?" "I don't think my friends will like the product." "My parents don't approve of network marketing." "My colleagues will laugh at me for believing in this thing." "Get involved in another venture? I failed the last time I tried, I don't want people to think I am all over the place."
Those initial doubts and questions are normal ... especially when trying to make up our minds ... the key here is not to let your decisions be based on what "others" think. Think for yourself.
So now that you have actually overcome that fear of starting a new business, having a baby, getting into a relationship ... give yourself a pat on the back! I would like to share some tips that will help you keep your focus in the face of rejection and criticisms as you follow your dreams.
1. NEVER take "NO" personal. People usually say NO to your product or service ... NOT to you. Always remember that whenever you present a product, a service, or a business idea, the person infront of you reserves the right to make a decision - a business decision - that might or might not be favorable for you. They might not need the product at the time, might not find it affordable, might not believe it works, etc ... respect that and move on. It has nothing to do with you. We must go through NOs in order to get to the YESs which are the building blocks of multi-million dollar empires.
After several years in business, I have learnt to seperate my business self from my person. This in many ways helps keep your self-esteem intact and more importantly helps you develop thick skin ... you know that kind of skin on which NOs bounce off?! I encourage you to never get down on yourself just because someone doesn't get it ... or buy it!
2. Know when to turn a blind eye. I read once that Indian spiritual leader Buddha's preaching was one day interrupted by someone in the audience who went off on an abusive rant. Buddha patiently waited for him to finish and then asked, "If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?"
"To the person who offered it," the man answered.
"Then, I decline to accept your abuse and request that you keep it for yourself," Buddha responded.
People are sometimes motivated to reject and criticize you for reasons that absolutely have nothing to do with you - maybe they are angry, jealous, suspicious, negative, doubtful ... and you just don't want to get mixed up in such issues ... and the best way might just be to look the other way and close your ears.
3. Forget PERFECTION. The pains of rejection are especially felt when we present a perfect front only to be shown its flaws by others; for example, as a presenter, you're expecting everyone in the room to be "wowed" by your presentation, but someone in the audience just challenged certain inconsistencies! Do you feel deflated? How about you work so hard on an article and the moment it is published, a reader calls it "nonsense", would that knock the wind out of you? By believing that your best is good enough, you already shield yourself from extreme hurt caused by negative reactions. "Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life," Dr. David M. Burns.
4. Keep your sense of humor. There is absolutely nothing a sense of humor can't water down. Don't be too serious ... laugh at yourself sometimes. It is the best anti-dote of frustration ... you can laugh the hurt right out of your system and feel much, much better after. Being able to shrug things off and smile even when you don't feel like shows remarkable maturity.
Remember the bottom line: never take "NO" personal, keep the faith and on to the next one! Most importantly, believe in yourself.
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Lema is Publisher and Editorial Director of DUNIA Magazine
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